Is it okay to look for answers?
" Are you self -diagnosing yourself again?" This has become a common question in my life, even from those that have
been very understanding and supportive of me as I struggle with the reality of a life of chronic pain and nausea. The
question is "Am I self-diagnosing my medical condition?" To answer that question honestly, you have to take a moment
to understand me and my struggle with a chronic illness.
I have had stomach problems since I was a child. I have experienced chronic pain for over 20 years. Since the every
beginning of my struggle with my health issues, I have been to seen by countless family doctors and specialist, some
specialist more than once. I have been diagnosed with….food allergies, vitamin b12 deficiency, an ulcer, chronic
appendicitis, spasaming colon, IBS, GERD's , Gastorparesis, Crohn's disease, bad gallbladder , diabetes, lower
disk degeneration, Arthritis ,Fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, of having fibroids, excessive scar
tissue ( from having my babies by c-section), being to fat, and my favorite.. of being a hypochondriac.
Of all the diagnoses, some have come with clinical evidence to back up the doctors diagnoses, some have been
only guesses on the part of the specialist. Some of the conditions have been treat with success, like the hysterectomy
that I undertook to remove a diseased uterus. Some conditions could not be treated successful, although the specialist
tried. When all treatment failed, the common medical advice, " You will simple have to learn to live with it!" Great advice?
It would be, if they could also tell me how I am supposed to learn to live with it.
Because I longed to live my life with out the every present reality of chronic nausea and pain, learning how to deal
with my medical problems was something I was forced out of necessity , and an over whelming need for self-preservation.
As a result, I began to research all the conditions that I have been diagnosed as having. Through my research, I have been able to dismiss some
been able to rule out some and therefore focus all my attention on those conditions that with out a question of a doubt ,
I do have. In my research , I found that a common condition of Gastrodunal Crohn's disease is: GERDS,
Gastorparesis, vitamin b12 deficiency, and food allergies. Crohn's disease is often miss diagnosed as IBS, which
is often labeled as a spasaming colon.. Although there is no such thing as having a condition know as chronic
appendicitis, therefore it was a ridicules diagnoses . (especially in the face of the fact that do not have an appendix.
that my appendix was taken out when I gave birth to my son)
As far as having high blood pressure and then low blood pressure, there is a condition very common in those with
Fibromyalgia, a condition know as Neurally Mediated Hypotension. A condition which is causes the blood pressure
to work opposite from how it should work for a normal person. In other words, when I exercise it goes down, when
I am setting it goes up, and when I am in pain it really goes up. Because of my research I was able to ask a doctor to
perform for a ( tilt table test) to confirm this condition. After a positive test result, I am now on medication to help
control this problem. Not only has the medication helped in regulating my blood pressure, but it has had an extra
bonus of helping control the pain in my legs cause by having Fibromyalgia.
Realizing that I don't have to accept everything
the doctors say is wrong with me, has given me a since of power over my own health issues. I also never realized how much
of a fighter I truly am,, until I was forced out of necessity to take some personal
responsibility for my own health problems. I am not saying that I know longer need medical advice or help in dealing
with my chronic health issues, I simple choose to work in partnership with my medical provider. If my medical
provider is not willing to listen to me, or work as a partner in dealing with my health problems, then
her or she becomes a hindrance in my battle to deal with my illness in a more positive way.
If I am totally honest with myself, I don't like feeling powerless in the face of my illness. I watched my mother
fight with chronic pain. Pain that the medical professional she saw on a regular bases, i could find no clear explanation
for it. In the end she took her own life, rather than deal with another day of pain. I have no desire to live my life feeling helpless
against that pain and misery my chronic illness causes. Therefore, it has become vital for me to learn everything I can about
my illness, to keep up with new research and possible medications that might help me. It has also become vital that
I learn to depend on Gods wisdom and guidance, each and every day. Especially in the face of the simple fact,
that I have goods days, and I have bad.
Because some of my days are good and some are bad, I can have the God given ablity tochoose how I deal with
my illness on a daily bases. I can choose to wallow in self pity and whine about my illness, or I can go to God and learn to lean on Him as my
strength and guidance as I struggle with my pain. I can struggle with the reality that I need more and more pain
medication, in order to with my daily pain, or I can take positive steps to make myself feel better. I found that a hot
bath can do wonders to easy the pain in my legs and arms, so can a message.
As far as the loneliness and isolation associated with any kind of chronic illness, and pain, HopeKeepers has been
a blessing from God. Knowing that there are people, that I see every week. That I can call at any time,, has given me the strenght
to face my daily struggle with courage and faith. Being an active part of HopeKeepers has given me a sense of purpose.
It has shown me that no matter how much pain I am in, I can still be used my God. And this simple truth has given me
the courage and strenght to face each painful day with HOPE!
|
|
|
